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I can't stop watching this video.

She points to this hypocrisy that is burning in the Christian church.

A hypocrisy that is burning in MY faith.

See, I have been convicted so clearly lately of just how gross my sin nature is in the eyes of God.

In the past few weeks, I have become acutely aware of just how unrighteous I am.

Just how much I give in to the schemes of evil and wickedness.

Just how much I love to delight in me. 

Just how much I love this world and the things of it.

Just how much I desire glory and praise for what I do.

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I have been drowning in this. 

I have been smacked with the reality that even though I have been washed clean of my transgressions through the cross of Christ, I live in a way that brings glory to the created and not the Creator. 

My praying words and outward facade scream solid, Christ adoring woman.

But my heart sits in self-righteousness and pride, Sara adoring.

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"These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." says Jesus in Matthew 15.

I do this, this is me.

My weekly schedule is full of places and events that I go to make Jesus known.

I say the words, I do the deeds.

But in my heart, it has just all become so routine.

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I'm becoming a Pharisee, and my heart needs a reality check.

My mind and soul need to be transformed with the reality that today, as much as yesterday, Christ was the replacement for my disgusting sins. 

I am free from the penalty of my sin through the work of the cross.

And I am free from the power of my sin through Christ continually sanctifying me and making me holy.

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So it is okay to not be okay.

It's just not okay to stay here.