Today's entry in my devotional "My Utmost for His Highest" was something my heart seriously needed.

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"Natural human love expects something in return. But Paul is saying, 'It doesn't really matter to me whether you love me or not. I am willing to be completely destitute anyway; willing to be poverty stricken, not just for your sakes, but also that I may be able to get you to God.' 

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'For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor..' (2 Cor. 8:9).

 And Paul's idea of service was the same as our Lord's He did not care how high the cost was to himself-- he would gladly pay it. It was a joyful thing to Paul.

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The institutional church's idea of a servant of God is not at all like Jesus Christ's idea. His idea is that we serve Him by being the servants of others. He said that in His kingdom the greatest one would be the servant of all. 

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The real test of a saint is not one's willingness to preach the gospel, but one's willingness to do something like washing the disciple's feet--that is, being willing to do those things that seem unimportant in human estimation but count as everything to God. It was Paul's delight to spend his life for God's interests in other people, and he did not care what it cost. 

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But before we will serve, we stop to ponder our personal and financial concerns--'What if God wants me to go over there? And what about my salary? What is the climate like there? Who will take care of me?' All that is an indication that we have reservations about serving God. But the apostle Paul had no conditions or reservations. Paul focused his life on Jesus Christ's idea of a New Testament saint; that is, not one who merely proclaims the gospel, but one who becomes broken bread and poured out wine in the hands of Jesus Christ for the sake of others."

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As I enter this crazy phase of my life, where big decisions are being made, and uncertainty is all I seem to be breathing, I am comforted by this idea. 

I can find comfort in Paul's life, a life lived solely for the ministry of Jesus.

I have so many doubts, concerns, and worries about doing ministry full time.

I think that I'm not good enough at it.

I worry about where I will live.

I stress over my future salary.

I think about what kind of shortcomings I will have to deal with.

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Even when I know in my mind that all those issues are in the hands of the sovereign God of the universe. 

I believe that He will equip me and provide for me in any circumstance to which He calls me...

So the freaking out and worrying can stop here and now.

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I can serve. 

I can serve God because I can serve others.

I can do it.

Why? Because the Lord loves me so abundantly that it is (or should be) my JOY to serve others.

And really, isn't that what ministry is all about?

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"The real test of a saint is not one's willingness to preach the gospel, but one's willingness to do something like washing the disciple's feet"